Boundaries in Marriage

Solid Marriage Support2

On December 17, 2018, my husband and I will celebrate 19 years of marriage. It blows me away that we have now been married for longer than we had been alive when we met. As a high school junior and senior we became besties. 25 years later we are still fostering friendship. We’ve made it our tradition to not just celebrate our anniversary, but to celebrate the covenant of marriage.

In honor of our anniversary, we use to host marriage enrichment events called “Covenant Parties.” A Covenant Party was a reception like evening filled with sharing, dancing, dining, communication games, and a vow renewal ceremony. As much as it seemed special when we first began hosting, with each passing year, the word “covenant” sounds more and more antiquated. The more old school it may sound to the masses the more meaningful it becomes to me. Modernization might be great for marketing but often diminishes meanings that we need to be reminded of.

There’s a scripture in Proverbs that says,

“Do not remove the ancient landmark which your fathers have set.” (22:28 NKJV)

This is referring to land markers which were pretty important in biblical times. A stone indicated where your property ended and where your neighbor’s started. Removing a landmark was a way of stealing property. Can you imagine what it would feel like if your neighbor changed your property line? The results could be costly and your rapport with your neighbor would be changed forever. When sacred concepts lose their meaning, I believe the enemy gains ground, and we lose territory.

Take notice of the two signs below.

PrivateProperty

publicEntrance2

There is a big difference between private property and a public park. Private property implies that the land belongs to someone, and they have reserved it for their own private use. Public access indicates that the area is open to the public. In marriage, It is just as important for husbands and wives to have clear boundaries as it is for a landowner to have proper signage posted. My husband and I set clear boundaries early on in our relationship and the more words like “covenant” seem to have lost their meaning the more meaningful words like “boundaries” have become to us. Boundaries preserve what is good and protect from what is toxic. Affairs are not intentional, but being intentional about setting healthy boundaries can help safeguard you against an affair.

Boundaries front 2018

Early on in our marriage one of our favorite couples asked us an interesting question. They said, “Do you all love each other enough to share if you ever found yourself having feelings for someone else?” That question led to us to do 3 key things if we ever found ourselves feeling chemistry with someone other than our spouse.

  • See it

  • Say it

  • Be set free

When we confess our faults and feelings to our spouse we can expose the enemy and safeguard our marriage against temptation. Below are a few questions you and your spouse can answer to aid you in the process of setting healthy boundaries in the 5 highlighted categories. (Think of preferences, pet peeves, pitfalls, and triggers in the following areas.)

1.  What boundaries would you like to see your spouse have at work?

2. What boundaries would you like to enforce amongst friends?

3. What are some ways to set physical boundaries?

4. What are some necessary emotional boundaries? (Guard your heart.)

5. What are some boundaries to implement with strangers?

This year we will celebrate our covenant by sharing tips, tools, and testimonies that will help you build your marriage on a solid foundation, nurture lasting love and connect with other couples. We hope you find this information useful. If you like it share it with your friends and invite them to connect with us on Facebook

 

Ali & Dionne Carter Revisit Their Vows

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To Have and To Hold
The characteristic that makes Dionne’s husband Ali uniquely hers is the fact that he is not afraid to unapologetically be himself. “Ali is so put together and clean cut in appearance, but he can get real Southside Chicago if he has to, and still be totally earthy and laid back. I love that balance.”

When prompted to use 3 words to describe what takes place when she is in her husband’s arms she confidently responds, “I feel protected.

For Better or for Worse

One of the areas that the Carters admit they could do better is by being more attentive to one another’s unique needs. They would like to develop a deep understanding and ability to nurture those things for one another.

2016, was the worst year of the Carters marriage. “Last year we seriously considered divorce. It was horrible for me and the children.” Dionne explained. “It’s still hard sometimes to talk about. There are still triggers. It sometimes still feels like a fresh wound. She admits that taking the time to pause and ponder the interview questions was tough. “In 2016, we stop being on the same team.”
For Richer or for Poorer

The Carters consider their marriage to be rich in laughter, long-suffering, friendship, understanding, faith, intimacy, and support. When there is poor communication between them, Dionne says, “Everything falls apart, and we lose sight of being on the same team.”

Through Sickness and in Health

In response to the question of how sickness has impacted their marriage Dionne shares, “I have horrible pregnancies. Like straight- shut down, hermit, out-of-commission, ill. I have to say, my husband has always stepped up and took care of me and our family when I physically and mentally was just completely unavailable.”

The Carters have grown in the area of maintaining their marriage. “We’re learning to actively listen. And to be more attentive, yielding to one another.”

To Love & to Cherish

Dionne’s current perception of love is different now than it was before she married. “I once thought that love was the only required ingredient for a lasting marriage. Love is not just about the fairy tale and the warm fuzzy stuff. Love is patience, support, physical touch, perseverance, uncomfortable conversations, growing pains, and brokenness. The willingness to continue to love in spite of all that.” Ali builds his wife up by being her biggest cheerleader. “He challenges me to be my best self. Reminds me that I’m dope, all the time…”
Til Death Do Us Part

When Mrs. Carter was asked how the thought of death makes her appreciate her spouse she shares, “The thought of physically losing my husband makes me sad and ill. His presence is so big and robust. There would truly be a great void in my life. There are days when I wouldn’t even eat if it weren’t for my husband. I am so grateful for everything he brings to my life and our family. Most of the time, I can think out loud with him, and that’s a blessing.”

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    Something Old Something New

    Mr. Carter’s old school advice is, “If you want to be the man, then be the man.” (The marriage begins and ends with you.) His new school advice is, “Communication before marriage is key (Know her do’s and don’ts and her will and won’ts.)

    Example:

    She never wants to own a big dog. She never wants to live in a high rise.
    She is allergic to cats.
    She doesn’t like cold weather.
    She hates washing dishes.
    She wants to be a stay at home mom, etc…”

Something Borrowed Something Blue

Mr. Carter believes that the popular phrase “Happy wife, Happy Life” is some “BS” he feels that the complexities of marriage can’t be reduced to such a trite expression. “The key to a successful marriage is not that simple.”
Ali goes on to say, “The marriage started with the two of you and it will end with the two of you.”

In response to the question “If you had the chance to do it all over again, what would you do differently?” Dionne shares, “I would take more time to put us first before the children came. To just nurture and further explore the man, the individual. Take the opportunity to have him all to myself a little longer. We began our relationship with children. That’s the only thing I would have wanted more of because everything else we’ve been through has gotten us here today. I have a greater respect, and appreciation for my husband and myself as a woman and wife because of what we’ve overcome.  Ali shares, “I would honestly have waited a little longer to try and get more established career wise so that we were more stable financially.”

For the reader:
If you have a question, comment, or compliment for this couple, please share in the comment section below.

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Scott & Shelton Oakley Hersey Revisit Their Vows

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To Have and to Hold

The quality that Scott has that makes him exclusively hers is his attentiveness. She describes him as having a unique blend of serious and silly.  “Scott is consistently attentive to me and to others, always looking for small ways to serve that most people might never notice.”When Shelton is in Scott’s arms, she feels beloved, home, and seen.

For Better or for Worse

One of the areas that Scott and Shelton feel they can do better in their marriage is through not reacting emotionally to the other’s state of being. “When one of us is sad, frustrated, tired, or insecure, the other can tend to mirror the same emotion. It has been something we honestly weren’t aware of at the start of our marriage and sometimes occasionally only saw it as a strength.” They’ve discovered that there are times in which this tendency is a good thing–when it promotes empathy and sensitivity. “Often times, however, this lack of emotional detachment has kept us from many healthy paths including seeking and speaking truth about who we are in Christ and the promises of God we can rely on.”

When asked about the worst year of their marriage Shelton and Scott respond with “Can we say the worst (or hardest) year and a half?”

As missionaries living in a South African township, The Hersey’s went through a period in which they had to balance full-time ministry, full work schedules, a growing social enterprise business, friends experiencing deep trauma, and their own mental lows. During this same period, they transitioned from South Africa to Boston, all the while facing consistent illness and infertility.

“There was so much to do, so much loss in the massive transitions and struggle with infertility and illness, and each of us had our own journeys of grief and healing to walk through. We had been married for three years at this point, we were exhausted and well past our breaking points and did not understand very well how deep our emotional lows were and how much we were trying to sustain ourselves on our own strength.”

Through consistent tears, moments of irritation and anger, little to no energy, and loneliness they came to understand long-suffering in marriage. They saw the beauty that can come from sticking by one another and trusting God’s promises. They had to mourn the end of one season while embracing the beginning of another. “We needed rest, perseverance, counseling, acceptance of one another, healthy detachment from each others’ emotional ups and downs and the type of healing that only comes over time cloaked in grace.”

For Richer or for Poorer

Shelton & Scott see their marriage as being rich in laughter, long-suffering, friendship, understanding, faith, intimacy, and growth. They enjoy learning from one another and growing personally and together.

When there is poor communication between these two they share, “Our tendency when we poorly communicate or don’t communicate is to make assumptions… Assumptions about what the other is thinking, doing and not thinking or doing that we feel they should be considering… and assumptions about each other’s motivations.”

Through Sickness and in Health

The Hersey’s are far too familiar with sickness. “This past year, we journeyed through the illness and passing of Scott’s father. Watching Scott’s dad struggle and pass from this life to the next was so painful, especially for Scott. Meanwhile, we continued to struggle with infertility and grieve through the process of unsuccessful fertility treatments. Again, the two of us were faced with another wilderness period of grief, each of us expressing it so different than the other. We longed for a lighter season of healing and regeneration. This time, we clung to God, sought joy and gratitude of each other, held a new perspective of the preciousness of life, and gave each other the acceptance, space, support, and grace we both needed to freely grieve and heal. We discovered amidst this wilderness season that regeneration was happening all along.

The way the Herseys maintain the health of their marriage is through communication. “We try to be aware of our own pain points when they’re triggered so we can speak God’s truth to ourselves and to each other. We create fun moments, romance, memories and conversations through which to connect in new and diverse ways. We rely on community and share openly about our marriage: the struggles, the different seasons, the help we have gratefully received, the love, fondness, respect and admiration we have for one another. We speak well of each other to others, conscious of building each other up and not tearing one another down.

To Love and to Cherish

Shelton’s perception of love has not changed much since before she married, but her understanding of what it means has deepened. “One perspective that has changed is what love in action means. I have had to learn a LOT about what this means for Scott and also for myself. Love for us means:

  • Prioritizing time together. 
  • Extending an extra measure grace to each other. 
  • Acknowledging what Scott says he needs.
  • Supporting each other in every season. 
  • Celebrating small and big “piles of stones” (or markers of God’s faithfulness.) 
  • Laying down our individual life visions for a God’s vision for “us.”
  • Embracing a unified vision that is about our journey toward wholeness. 

Scott cherishes his wife through encouraging her. Through his words, small notes, texts, emails and choosing to be present. He supports her in various areas of work and community commitments. He contributes to her gifts and passion. “My favorite is when he out of the blue says to me, “I’m so proud of you, Shelt,” or sends me a text that says, “I love you, and I see you.””

Til Death Do Us Part

When asked how the thought of death makes Shelton appreciate her husband she responds, “It is strange. Even though I only met Scott at age 25, I now cannot imagine living this life journey without him. In fact, looking back, it feels as if he was a small part of me all along. Perhaps this is because God has intricately used Scott to shape me more into my whole and true self. I always tell people that in being married to Scott, I have grown into the person that God created at my very inception; through him, my brokenness has given way to a more centered soul rooted in Christ.”

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Something Old Something New

Scott’s old school advice can be found in John 15:13, he quotes,

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay one’s life down for another.”

He goes on to share, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” – Philippians 2:3-4

  • Seek the interest of your wife before your own interest
  • If your wife wants to connect with you in a way that doesn’t interest you, lay down your interest and choose to connect.
  • Enter into conversations and conflict that you don’t think is a big deal or worth a conversation but it’s important to your spouse to engage and grow.
  • Listen to understand.
  • Buy a less expensive car (or something else) because your together-values are to be frugal and generous with others.
  • Put down your work (or turn off the t.v.) and go to bed with your spouse as much as you can (ending the day together is a great rhythm!)
  • Conserve energy throughout your day to have the peace and presence to go on a date night or to help serve alongside your wife in daily family routines.

His new school advice is to, “ Be aware when to HALT(!) a conversation. In other words, don’t enter into a serious conversation if either of you are feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired (HALT). Take some space–even if it means going to bed, taking a walk or going about your day while you’re still feeling a few of these things–so you can come back to each other and the conversation in a better, more whole place.”

Something Borrowed Something Blue

Some borrowed advice that has greatly impacted Scott over the years is, “Intentionally discover and seek out the unique ways your wife receives love and keep exploring new ways to speak her love language. Keep in mind that your wife’s love language might (and will) change from season to season in life. Your wife is in the process of constantly changing… So take the time and give energy to continually get to know her, always holding her with sacred curiosity.”

Scott’s bonus advice is to “Have fun together! Seek out fun, adventure, and new experiences, and pursue enjoyment of one another in little and big ways!” He suggests that couples celebrate as often as they can.

The question Scott would like his wife Shelton to answer is, “In what way do you feel you most need to be consistently pointed to God?”

Shelton’s question for her husband Scott is, “What do you dream over and for us?”

When asked if they had the chance to do it all over again would they, Scott replies, “I would have been more consistent about walking with other men through the marriage journey. We have had some very important and intentional voices speaking into our marriage, and some of the most important pieces of vision and health in marriage have been heavily influenced by our mentors and those with an intentional presence in our lives. I would have tried harder to be more consistent about these connections in difficult seasons as well as find new mentors from whom to receive encouragement.”

Shelton’s response to doing it over was, “Earlier on, I would have lowered my super-high and unrealistic expectations of Scott and our marriage (an expectation of perfection that I didn’t realize I had until a few years into marriage). I like the hopes I hold for us and that we hold together. I am enjoying the plans we make that are cloaked in God’s grace and vision for our wellness, not in my own expectation. I know I have a long way to go in this area, but I hope we can continue to see our marriage even more through the eyes of God’s delight in us so that all we do and say to one another might derive from a place of inspiration, not expectation.” 

For the reader: If you would like to ask this couple a question or offer a word of encouragement, please do so in the comment section below?

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Eugene & Naima Russell Revisit Their Vows

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To Have and to Hold

Naima describes what traits make her husband uniquely hers, “He’s very old school. He’s part play Mario Brothers on our Nintendo in our PJs Saturday morning, and part hold my hand, so I don’t stumble in my heels while he carries the groceries.” When Naima is in her husband’s Eugene’s arms, she feels affirmed, released, and like she’s melting.

 

For Better or For Worse

Something the Russells feel like they can do better in their marriage is, “Not thinking the worst of the other person’s actions. Asking for clarity and actually listening to UNDERSTAND and not just waiting for the other person to pause so you can  respond.”

 

The worst year of their marriage was the year after their first child was born. “Priorities shifted, recovery from childbirth, sleep deprivation, just all around new parenthood took its toll. We stopped working on the marriage, and things were said that caused a rift that we are still working hard to heal from.

For Richer or For Poorer

The Russells state that their marriage is rich in resilience. When there is poor communication between the two of them Naima shares, “We both end up frustrated and confused. The devil thrives in confusion, and it is an opening for strife in our marriage. We end up seeing the other person as our enemy, as someone to compete against, we assume the worst of them.”

Through Sickness and in Health

Mrs. Russell shares about their experience with sickness, “My mother-in-law was diagnosed with sarcoidosis years before I ever met my husband and through faith, prayer and the care of my father-in-law she defied her life expectancy several times over. A short 10 months after we were married she went into the ICU. My husband and I, along with an army of family, and friends stayed by her side around the clock for the next month. We traded shifts, we brought meals to the hospital, we never gave up on her. She made her transition a few days before his birthday.  That is a really hard thing to go through in your first year of marriage.

Everyone thinks that the first year of marriage is a never-ending date night, all roses and candlelight dinners, and for some it is, but most will tell you the rose-colored glasses quickly fall off before the thank you notes are in the mail. You have to figure each other out (who are we as a MARRIED couple now), You have to figure yourself out (who am I as a wife/husband), and then you throw the loss of a parent in there? Our marriage had to grow up quickly, and I had to embrace this new person my husband had become. He had this fresh wound –this hole that, as much as I wanted to, I could not fill. Nor was that my job.”

Maintaining the health of their marriage has been their biggest challenge. “We try date nights, but our kids are so young it’s hard to get away, and when we finally do we are tired, with a capital T.  Pre-kids, we did a vision for the year, read books, went to conferences. I want to get back to this. It is so important to keep working on us.

To Love and to Cherish

Naima’s admits that her perception of love before marriage was influenced by one too many romantic comedies. “This is probably pretty cliche, but I expected him to “get me” to just know what I needed to feel loved. Now I try and tell him exactly what I need and hope he remembers,” she laughs before continuing to say, “I am also focusing on the 5 Love Languages. I am learning his love language and realizing that to really touch him I need to speak his language too. He speaks Swahili, and I speak French so emotionally we have a continent between us, so we have to keep working on that bridge daily.”

Eugene cherishes his wife by being tough on her… It’s his way of affirming her. If she doesn’t go after hard opportunities, or he gets frustrated when she gets down on herself. He sees value in what she brings to the table and doesn’t want to see her discouraged. She shares, “Of course being a romantic I initially wanted a softer approach but realizing that’s is his way of showing love is kind of sweet.

Til Death Do Us Part

When asked about how the thought of death makes her appreciate her husband Naima poses the question, “Who would kill the spiders or clean the kid’s runny noses?

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Something Old Something New

When asked to share some old school advice Eugene encourages husbands to:

  • Open doors for your wife.
  • Pump her gas.
  • If you see her carrying heavy bags, take them from her.
  • If she’s coming home after dark, watch (or walk) her out of the car and into the house.

It’s not that she’s incapable of doing these things alone, it’s just important for her to know that you are covering her.

Mr. Russell’s new school advice is If you’ve got kids, hold it down at home so she (if she desires) can get away at least once a week for what I’ll call a “mental health” break. If you don’t have kids, encourage her to do something fun or relaxing on her own (or with her friends) regularly.

Something Borrowed Something Blue

A quote that has strongly impacted their relationship is “Marriage is more than a loving feeling. It’s a daily commitment.” Eugene’s bonus advice is, “If she teases you, learn to laugh at yourself. Sometimes, laughter can be the best pillow talk.”

The question that Eugene would like to ask his wife is, “In what everyday, practical way/ways does your husband make you feel loved?”

Naima would like for her husband to answer the question, “What are some ways I show you respect?”

If the Russels had the chance to do it all over again the thing they would do differently is,

We would have been more mindful of what we said to one another in the heat of the moment during arguments. Once spoken, hurtful things can’t be taken back.”

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Thor & Jenny Erlingsson Revisit Their Vows

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To Have

Jenny describes her husband Thor as having unwavering enthusiasm, positivity, and joy. “Even when he is down, he is still hopeful and I love that!”  

To Hold

When this wife of 7 years is in her husband’s arms she feels secure, thankful, and full.

For Better

The Erlingssons admit that if there was anything they could do better in their marriage it would be scheduling date nights. “It’s hard with young kids and also busy schedules but we think we need to say no to other things more, to say yes to spending more “fun” time together.”

For Worse

When asked about the worst year of their marriage Jenny responds, “Hmm, maybe the 1st year only because there was so much change and so much that we were learning about each other. Even with that, I can’t even call it a bad year, we were just transitioning into being one, had 3 boys in the house, went through a miscarriage, etc so there was a lot going on.”

For Richer

Anyone who knows the Erlingssons can clearly see that their marriage is rich in laughter, long-suffering, friendship, understanding, faith, intimacy, and joy.

 

For Poorer

When there is poor communication in the Erlingsson household Jenny states, “The house is quieter. When that happens there are walls up. But that was earlier in our marriage. We have really been strategic about being real and open so that walls don’t go up.”

 

In Sickness

When asked about walking through sickness, this family hasn’t had to walk through much. However, the sickness that they have walked through has been significant. Their son has allergies. “You hate to see your child dealing with so much.”  But the benefit is that it has made them more prayerful and attentive concerning their kids and Mr. Erlingssons allergic reactions.

In Health

The way they maintain the health of their marriage is by seriously “keeping Christ at the center.”

 

To Love

Jenny shares that her perception of love is different after marriage than it was prior to. She has realized what covenant really is. “Choosing to agree with the Lord’s design and intention and choosing to love even in the mundane of every day.”

 

To Cherish

“Cherish” means to build up. Thor builds up his wife by always encouraging her, calling her beautiful even when she doesn’t feel like it, pushing her forward and releasing her to walk in the fullness of her calling.

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Til Death Do Us Part

The thought of death makes this beloved bride appreciate her husband’s role in their family.  “My children have a wonderful father and I have an amazing husband that I never want to take for granted.”

 

Something Old

When asked to share some old school advice Thor encourages men to “recognize your wife’s dream, so that you can support her and push her to do it.” He firmly believes husbands should set their wives up to succeed.

 

Something New

Thor’s new school advice is to “Never stop dreaming or moving forward. Always be willing to take risks. It keeps you motivated, on fire, and moving forward.”

 

Something Borrowed

Advice Thor borrowed early on his marriage comes from one of his spiritual mentors, Mark Stearns. “Make sure your wife is always taken care of.”

 

Something Blue (Something extra just for fun!)

Thor who is extremely passionate about worship encourages couples to “Learn to dwell in the Lord’s presence.” When asked what question Mr. Erlingsson would like for his wife to answer, he responds, Are you ready for the next adventure?” Jenny’s question for her husband is, “What is your favorite thing about me?” If this lovely couple had the chance to do it all over again Thor says, he would have “gotten married earlier.” And Jenny shares with a smile, “Saved more money when we had more money, lol.”

 

For the Reader: What is a question you would like to ask this couple?

 

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Anniversary Q&A

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1. What is something quirky about me that you love?

Toya- I like that you talk to yourself.

Melvin- I love that you are a black girl who can’t dance.

2. How did you know I was the one?

Toya- I knew you were the one because you loved all the things I didn’t like about myself.

Melvin-I knew you were the one because you weren’t naive and you survived meeting my mom.

3. What song would you say is “our” song?  (Old School & New School)

Toya- Old School, It’s Our Anniversary by Tony, Toni, Tone. New School, What Do You Say by Proverbalist.

Melvin- Don’t You Know by Heavy D. New School, My Whole Life Has Changed by Genuine

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To hear a song my husband wrote for me click photo.

4. What is your favorite book and why?

Toya-The Bible. It’s the perfect blend of drama and hope.

Melvin- The Bible. It’s always applicable.

5. What is one of the first things I did that made an impression on you?

Toya-You heard me.

Melvin-You gave me your number.

6. What is a goal you have for our marriage?

Toya-I’d like for us to leave a legacy of love in the earth. One that impacts our children’s children. I would love for us to write a book on marriage.

Melvin-I would like to experience more firsts together.

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7. What is your absolute favorite memory with me?

Toya- Traveling to Honduras.

Melvin-It’s not a memory, it’s a feeling.

8. What advice would you give to a couple about to get married?

Toya-Pray for, praise, protect and pursue one another.

Melvin-Put your spouse before yourself.

9. Would you rather time travel with me into our past or into our future?

Toya-I would choose to travel to the past, I would like for you to meet my father.

Melvin- I would like to travel to the future to meet our children’s children. To see space travel or find out if we all become zombies.

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10. When was the last time we laughed uncontrollably?

Toya-Yesterday. You did an impersonation of Jeff Bridges in The Giver.

Melvin-In Mississippi when our son asked the preacher why he said “Ha!” between every word.

11. Would you rather have more money to spend on me or more time to spend with me?

Toya-I would rather have more time to spend with you.

Melvin-I want more time to spend with you and more money to spend on you because you were with me when I had no money.

12. What has been our greatest trial?

Toya-Adoption.

Melvin-Raising children.

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13. What has been our greatest triumph?

Toya-Adoption

Melvin- Being “happily” married.

14. Tell me one thing that I do for you that no one else does? (Outside of the obvious.)

Toya-You listen when I’m hurting until pain leaves and love returns.

Melvin- Give me purpose. Make me feel special.

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15. What is the very first thing you thought of me when we first met?

Toya-I thought you were a flirt, I didn’t like your cologne, you were light-skinned…

Melvin-I thought you were a cute girl that I wanted to flirt with.

16. What is my greatest weakness?

Toya- Your rigid paradigms.

Melvin- That you love people so deeply.

17. What is my greatest strength?

Toya- Your ability to compartmentalize.

Melvin- That you love people so deeply.

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If you have any questions you would like to add to our list we welcome you to do so in the comment section. To listen to What Do You Say, written by Melvin Poplar Jr. (vocals by Adam Sullivan) click image under question number three. Thanks for taking the time out to help us celebrate our anniversary! We hope you enjoyed this glimpse into our marriage.

Toya & Melvin Poplar

P.S. Don’t be shy, we would love to hear from you. If you are married how many years have you been married, what advice would you offer a couple about to get married?