Wisdom from a Widow

 

How many years were you married?

29 years, 1 month, 30 days and 12 hours (10,652 days, 12 hours and 0 minutes)

 

What has hindsight highlighted most to you?

Treasure each and every moment, make a conscious effort to make good memories, celebrate the good, forget and forgive the bad (every day).

 

What wisdom would you like to offer wives?

Treasure the gift God has given you. Don’t exaggerate your husband’s shortcomings and mistakes.  Concentrate on what you fell in love with in the first place. Don’t argue and fight over petty things, life is so short.  Don’t waste time!!! Talk through and work out the hard things, everything can be resolved. Communicate (don’t hold grudges and stop speaking).  Give yourself unselfishly physically, no regrets. Let go of inhibitions and enjoy intimacy to the fullest (forget what you think you look like, he loves it all and forget about the dishes that need to be done, that that doesn’t matter when he’s gone).

 

Marriage is a ministry and every joint supplies . . .

What would you say was your marriage supplied to the Body of Christ?

Dave and I made it a goal to show children what a godly marriage and relationship looked like. We always said we wanted them to know by our example what they could have when they grew up in case they didn’t have that example at home.

The other thing our marriage contributed to the Body is an example of teamwork within marriage. Dave and I were a good team. We loved to work together, learn from each other and appreciated each other’s God-given gifts & talents.

We encouraged others to pursue their dreams and aspirations as much as possible.

 

What has been the hardest thing to adjust to?

After the initial shock of being left a widow so suddenly, the hardest thing has been the littlest things.  Missing his touch, his laughter, his arms around me, our conversations about deep things and silly things, singing together in the car. . . Most of all I miss being able to go to my best friend with my deepest pain, joys, complaints, and tears.

 

What is most apparent to you about your spouse now that they’re gone?

What an amazing person he truly was! What a creative genius he was!  How much he was respected, honored and loved. How much he is missed, not only by his family but by friends and kids he taught and mentored.  How much I need him.

 

If you could change anything about the past what would it be?

I’d lay aside my own “needs” and serve him more. I’d give myself to him more. I’d pay attention to every little detail of our life instead of being overwhelmed by what seemed to be the big stuff.

 

What does being “Beautifully Bound” mean to you?

Marriage is the most unique and profoundly rich of relationships.  In no other relationship do you become “one” with another. It is a love covenant that, if nurtured and treasured can last until your very last breath and beyond.  The love I carry for my husband and the love I know he still holds for me in Heaven is a representation of a beautiful bond that the Lord blessed us with on earth.  I look forward to the day of that Great Reunion!

 

What do you feel like you should have done more of?

As much as we did together, if I could go back I would have MORE fun, adventure, and laughter.  I would make time to be intimate more often! Those are the memories I treasure most now!

 

What do you wish you would have done less?  

Worry.  I wish I would have worried less about money, the future, the kids, ministry and the things that never happened. Worry stole precious time from me and our time together.

To find out more about Jackie’s bittersweet beautiful new beginning subscribe to her blog at therenaissancebelle.com

Smith, Dave & Jackie
Photography by Darla Hall
Bound - Sepia
Graced Lettering Co.
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