Wow, yesterday was the day we said, “I do.” 18 years ago. The last 18 years have flown by seemingly as fast as the last 18 days. On a cold day in 1999, we pulled into the parking lot of the Davidson County Courthouse, a few minutes before close and said to one another, “Divorce is not an option.” Over and over we said those words like actors determined to memorize their lines. We stood before the judge as 2 starry-eyed college students and walked away one because of the words we recited.
Words are mighty enough to make 2 become 1 and formidable enough to rip an entire family apart. It’s hard to imagine that the same mouth that kisses a bride and declares “til death do us part” can also decree,
“I want to separate, disconnect, divide, dissociate, detach, isolate, and alienate myself from you.”
Words have the power to build us up one minute and break us down the next. Over the last 18 days, we have revisited our vows in hopes that some discouraged couple will be diverted from divorce. We are well aware that the same mouth that declared, “I do.” Can decide, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
In a world in which people are getting divorced faster than you can plan a wedding, we thought the greatest anniversary gift we could offer is hope. If you are hoping to be reconciled go and re-read about the Boddie’s, McDonalds, Moores, Waddells, or Carters. If you are facing a tough battle with sickness, check out The Smiths, Friths, Friends, Faughts, Wilsons, Epps, Williams, Shocklees, Herseys or Popes. Our prayer is that you can revisit your vows, glean from our victories, and grow from our mistakes.
As we reviewed the statistics for each blog, we realized that the couples who may have once felt like they messed up their story received the highest number of views. Keep that in mind along your marriage journey. Couples who may have once been forgotten are hailed heroes when they choose forgiveness.
To every couple who shared your story, we honor you. To every reader who carved out time to read and share our words on social media, we value you. To every single in search of real love, you are in the right place to hear from real couples, who have faced real issues and overcame by the grace of a real God. Thank you for joining us on this journey!
Marriage is work, but it is well worth it. Here’s to 18 years!
Melvin & Toya Poplar
Trivia: The first subscriber to answer our “Revisiting Our Vows” trivia question will win an autographed copy of Patricia & Willie Moore Jr.s book, “Happily After All.”
(Note only subscribers are eligible to win. Scroll to the bottom of the page and click follow to subscribe)
*Tell us how many years total have all the couples in this series been married?
We are currently in the Bahamas celebrating our anniversary. Your comments will be approved and prize will be awarded upon our return, December 22, 2017
Thanks for your patience and participation!
Questioning Your Vows
(18 questions, 18 couples, 18 days)
I, [name], take you [name], to be my [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
LADIES FIRST (Answer questions 1-11, 17 & 18)
- What trait does your husband “HAVE” that makes him uniquely yours? (Tendency, quality, quirk).
- In 3 words describe what takes place on the inside when your husband HOLDs you?
- What is something both you and your husband would benefit from doing BETTER in your marriage?
- What do you consider the WORST year of your marriage? If you don’t mind, tell us about it.
- In what area do you consider your marriage RICH in?
All the above
Fill in the blank _________________
- What happens when there is POOR communication between you and your husband?
- Talk about a time in which you walked through SICKNESS in your marriage. Whether it was caring for your husband/parents/grandparents/in-laws/children/grandchildren, etc.
- How do you maintain the HEALTH of your marriage?
- How is your perception of LOVE different after marriage than it was before you married?
- “CHERISH” means “to build up.” How does your spouse build you up?
- (With DEATH being the only way we part…)Talk about how the thought of death makes you appreciate your spouse.
ADVICE FROM HUSBANDS (Men answer 12,13, 14, 15, 16 & 18)
Share words of advice from the categories below.
- Something OLD School (Old school advice)
- Something NEW School (New School Advice)
- Something BORROWED (Marriage quote or advice that impacted you strongly.)
- Something BLUE (Something extra just for fun!)
- What is a question you would like for your wife to answer?
- What is a question you would like for your husband to answer?
- FOR THE COUPLE
If you had the chance to do it all over again what would you do differently?
FOR THE READER
(of the blog post)
What question would you like to ask this couple?
- Attach a current photo.
- Attach an image of you on your wedding day.
- Let me know how many years you’ve been married.
- Email responses to ToyaPoplar@gmail.com to be considered for our “Couple of the Quarter.”
Thanks so much for your time and transparency!
Be sure to visit Marriage More Abundantly on facebook so that you can join us for a FUN night or bi-monthly marriage workshop.